Cousin Kay…

People do not grow up anymore like I did.  My cousins lived just a mile and a half away.  I spent much of my childhood in the company of my cousins Don, Linda, and Kay. 

We played most of the time at Kay’s house.  Kay’s parents were Uncle Earl and Aunt Frieda.  We climbed on tractors and pretended to race them.  One strange game involved putting hay twine around someone’s neck and leading them into the horse trailer.  We called the game “Horse.”  We would go down to the hay barn and build forts.  Occasionally, a corn snake would slither out, and we would run back to the house, convinced that the snake was on our heels.

We were tasked with feeding the chickens and gathering the eggs.  They were in a big pen, about the size of a four-car garage.  They were experts at disguising their nests.  The nesting boxes were often empty, but they would have made a nest out of pine straw hidden behind a tree. 

Of course, there was also the day some chickens were taken out of the pen.  Sometimes their necks were wrung; occasionally, their heads were chopped off.  I thought a chicken running around with its head cut off was one of the funniest things I had ever seen.  Kay would cry when the chickens met their demise, but strangely, it never stopped her from eating that bird on Sunday. 

The most fun we had, however, was playing “house.”  Uncle Earl had a smokehouse that we were allowed to convert into a playhouse when he wasn’t smoking meat.  Though it was illegal, we pair off and pretend to be married cousins.  Kay would always marry Don, and I would always marry Linda.  We would clean out the play house (though none of us cleaned our own rooms), rearrange furniture, prepare pretend meals, and play until the fireflies called us inside.  I can still hear Aunt Frieda calling us in, “Bonita Kay Gill, it’s time to get a bath and get in bed.”

I often spent the night at Aunt Frieda’s, sleeping with Kay in her bed.   Once she turned seven, however, I had to sleep on the couch.  I protested.  I had always slept in Kay’s bed before.  What had changed?  She was becoming a young woman, and our elders decided it was no longer appropriate for us to share a bed.  Much later, I would joke that Kay was the first woman I slept with.  I thought it was funny, even if no one else did.

Uncle Earl had a ranch in a place called “Slidell.”  It was about an hour and a half away.  We rode to Slidell in the back of Uncle Earl’s truck, sitting on an old coach.  We would work cows, four or five kids under twelve, Uncle Earl and Aunt Frieda.  I remember spending the night at Slidell, sleeping on a pallet on the floor.  There was no electricity at Slidell.  I have never seen the Milky Way so clearly as I did at Slidell.

We grew up, of course.  Kay and I went down different paths.  She stayed in our hometown and became a teacher, like her mother before her.  She taught in the same school she attended.  Hundreds of children passed through her classroom and were touched by her gentleness, care, and instruction.  She married a man very much like her father, had two boys, and became, like her mother, the best cook in the community.  She lived almost all of her married life in the house she grew up in, merely moving across the hall to what was once her parent’s bedroom.

As she aged, Kay had to fight several chronic diseases.  A combination of viral and bacterial infections finally overwhelmed her.  She passed away a few days ago.

People ask me why I write about these memories from days gone by.  I write so I can remember.  As people who walked with me through life pass on, I want to capture in a few words the memories I hold.  Maybe my grandchildren will one day read these words and wonder what kind of life their grandfather had as a child. 

I know not everyone has a great childhood.  Mine had lots of ups and downs.  But if you go back and remember your childhood, you might find some special people God put in your life.  Some of those people were adults who loved you and nurtured you.  But some people were your cousins, neighbors, or playmates.  You laughed with these kids.  You learned to give and compromise.  You got mad and then got over it because the game looked so fun you didn’t want to miss out.