I am a pastor. I have 37 years of active service. I talk to pastors. Trust me when I say there are some things a pastor wants you to know. Even if you are not part of a church, the pastor of the church you do not belong to wants you to know some realities he deals with every day. To help out my brothers (and sisters – I know there are women pastors too), I thought I would offer you insights pastors would like to share with you: 

Your pastor would like to you know he is a real person. Being ordained and going to seminary did not change him into a saint. He is on a journey just like you. He fights with his spouse (usually on Saturday night), makes mistakes as a parent, and has worries about money. If you expect your pastor to be perfect, you will be disappointed. Your pastor would really like you to give him the same grace and understanding he offers you. 

Your pastor would like you to know he really works hard at preaching and teaching. Imagine writing a term paper every week. That is what your pastor faces. Sunday comes every seven days, and people expect to hear something fresh from God. So he studies. He prays. Preaching is hard work. A good sermon is like a recipe you make each week: it must contain truth, humor, an engaging story or two, and be convicting and uplifting. If you think it is so easy, try it. Not once, but for three months. Throw in doing a couple of funerals and weddings on top of the regular load, and you get a feeling for the challenge. 

Your pastor would like you to know that he notices when you sleep through his sermons. He is not fooled by your comment at the door, “Nice sermon today, preacher.” 

Your pastor wants you to know he has heard the tired old joke about working only one hour a week. He would also like you to know that he was called out at 2 AM to a family who just found pot in their thirteen-year-old’s sock drawer. He averages two or three meetings a week, usually in the evening when he wishes he could be at his kid’s soccer game. His day off gets interrupted about twice a month with a funeral or a crisis.  He spends a lot of time on the phone; some calls are important while others are from people who need to feel important. Every night when he goes to bed, he knows there was more he should have done that day for Jesus. 

Your pastor would like you to know that he went into ministry because he was called. He wanted to help people. He wanted people to find Jesus and follow him. No one told him he would also be an administrator, a counselor, a theologian, a prophet, a companion for life’s toughest journeys, and a motivator. Most weeks something will be thrown at him he never prepared for, like the guy who walks in and needs to talk to the pastor. He confesses he asked his girlfriend to do some inappropriate stuff, and she did, and now he feels betrayed. Your pastor’s “Pastoral Care in Human Crisis” class never covered this particular situation. Nor did seminary prepare him to know the right debt to asset ratio for the building project the church needs. In an age of specialization, the local church pastor is the last of the generalists. 

Your pastor would like you to know it is tough to keep your own journey with Jesus separate from working for Jesus. It is part of ministry no one talks about. Daily Bible reading can turn into sermon research. Praying for yourself and your family can be washed away by the tidal waves of prayer requests to pray for Aunt Suzie’s broken toe. He needs time to listen to God; it is hard to listen when you are supposed to on-call 24/7.

Your pastor would like you to know he is underpaid. Kids, six years out of college, are making more than he is. A hundred years ago, the pastor was often the highest-paid professional in town.  Not anymore. Most churches live by the motto: “The pastor will keep us spiritually fed; we will keep him humble.” Maybe one church in 50 bothers to look at clergy compensation studies to find clergy pay trends. Your pastor is definitely not in it for the money, but he still needs a car to drive, and his kids need clothes. He would really like it if someone advocated for him to get a raise. 

Your pastor would like you to know he is tired. He knows you are, too, so he feels guilty saying anything. COVID has worn everyone out, but it has been a double strain on the clergy. He had to completely retool how he does his job. The world changed, and he is trying to keep up. His two weeks of vacation are not enough. You can take a weekend off and get out of town.  He can’t.  

Your pastor would like you to know criticism, even if it is justified, hurts. The words the pastor hates to hear more than any other are: “Some people have come to me, and they want you to know…”. Your pastor really wishes if you have something to say about him that you would say it to him.   

Most of all, your pastor would like you to know he needs your prayers. He needs you to pray for him to have strength and wisdom. He could use an encouraging word from you. Being a shepherd of God’s flock is a high and holy calling. Sometimes it helps to have a holy cheer from those he leads.